Advice, dialogue and (mis)communicating

I found this interesting blog on LinkedIn, from Anne Maclachlan, who does a bit called "Here's Why."

Anne was kind enough to give me permission to repost the blog she did on author Dr. Deborah Tannen, a New York Times bestselling author and communications expert, for our weekend readers and writers who just can't wait until CJ Ellisson blogs again on Monday.

Anne is not only a blogger, but a published author of horror with "The Thing in the Crosstrees" from the anthology The Bitter End: Tales of Nautical Terror. She is a former news content producer for the San Diego Tribune. She has produced two interactive English as a Second Language (ESL) textbooks and has won awards for her writing from the Society of Professional Journalists and San Diego Press Club, as well as the Southern California Writers Conference.

Since her credentials make me seem like a novice, I have paid attention to her blogs closely, especially this week's on Dr. Tannen. I found Dr. Tannen's article very informative. It has a lot of good advice and our topic this week deals with advice. A few weeks ago, we talked about writing believable dialogue and Dr. Tannen talks about the dialogue (or lack thereof) between men and women.

For aspiring writers, her writing could give valuable tips for writing believable conflict between male and female characters. For our readers, it might help explain some of the dialogue in today's books or, more importantly, in normal life.

Judge for yourselves.

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Here's Why.

In which all the mysteries of the universe are explained

Dr. Deborah Tannen: Solving the communications battle of the sexes.

Deborah Tannen is still my favorite communications expert (so this is more or less a shameless plug of her work) and here’s precisely why: You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation.

[caption id="attachment_1454" align="alignright" width="120" caption="Deborah Tannen"][/caption]

That’s what started it for me, anyway. Dr. Tannen covers everything from male-female communication in the workplace and in social situations to family dynamics and that scary mother-daughter thing. Her advice is concrete and usable. She explains why we tend to communicate the way we do, investigates the social and genetic influences on speech, and lays out how better to listen and understand.

And the thing is, her observations are so accurate and astute that they just might affect your life. If you want to see how and why, here’s an excerpt from some of her writing for a quick look.

Before the next time you want to ask a woman “Why didn’t you just   say that?” or want to yell “You aren’t listening!” at your favorite man, it might be worth your while to investigate these books.

Good luck, all the same.

Excerpt from "You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in  Conversation" by Dr. Deborah Tannen.

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Again, I want to thank Anne Maclachlan for letting Wicked Writers repost her blog. Hopefully, our readers have found something useful from it.

Oh, and don't forget to catch Wicked Writers next week when we talk about the art of reviewing. Our guest blogger will be Harley Palmer, founder of the Writing Academy at Writing.com, who will share how she reviews the dozens of short stories she has received from her students' writing assignments.

Starlene Stringer: Personifying social networking

This week's topic asks us the merits of social networking. Today, I have the honor of presenting an interview I did with a good friend of mine -- Starlene Stringer.

This woman personifies social networking.

I first met her when I was a reporter at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, at a meeting of Dallas/Fort Worth Association of Black Communicators (now called DFW Association of Black Journalists, the local chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists) back in the day when social networking was done face-to-face (the 1990's in case you were wondering). We didn't have Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or LinkedIn. Just a telephone and a monthly meeting.

In case you're not familiar with Ms. Stringer, she is the morning show co-host and News & Public Affairs Director at 94.9-FM KLTY, host of the weekly talk show "DFW Perspectives with Starlene" and host of the syndicated TV talk show Even Greater with Reinhard Bonnke. Add in being a news anchor, producer, director, actress and model, she's a certified fitness instructor for both Bally and 24 Hour Fitness. She's also a motivational speaker who has authored two inspirational books -- Speak Through Me: Diary of a Military Brat and I Am Her...and It's Actually Okay!



Phew!

It's the last line that I managed to interview her about (see above images). This might be encouraging to the readers who want to be published and have gotten short shrift from the publishing houses.

Believe it or not, even someone with Starlene's credentials had a tough time getting published. So, naturally, she did what any one of us wouldn't dream of doing -- she started her own publishing company (Epiphany Productions & Publications). Yeah, I know. Kind of hard to work for the Man when you are the Man or Woman, but, as Starlene will show, it's working. Both of her books are bestsellers (Diary of a Military Brat is an Essence Magazine national bestseller, #5 July 2003).

Greg: What made you decide to publish your writing  yourself?

Starlene: With my first publication, timeliness was critical. I didn't have time to wait for acceptance and approval, etc. I had shared some of my poems on-air and people wanted copies. So they need to be available, right away. The other reasons I chose to create my own publishing company was so that I could have the freedom to write whatever I choose and not have someone try to change my words.

Greg: What was required for you to do this?

Starlene: I had to do lots of research. I consulted Black book store owners, attended publishing classes and read online articles. I established a LLC, got copyrights and barcodes, selected a graphic artist, chose a printing company, etc.

Greg: What would you say was the hardest part of self-publishing and why?

Starlene: The hardest part is you have to do it all. It's very time consuming and it takes away from the time you could spend being creative and writing more.

Greg: Do you publish other writers?

Starlene: No. I don't print the work of others right now. I've had a lot of people ask me to, but I don't have the time.

Greg: Would you say it was all worth it? And why?

Starlene: Yes. It was worth it. I accomplished what I set out to do and that was to share what I had to say with others.

Greg: Again, thanks for all of your help and assistance. By the way, when is your next book coming out?

Starlene: Later this year.

Fortunately for those of us who desire to follow her and not wait for the next book, she's on all the social networks -- look up "Starlene" on FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter and LinkedIn.

Of course, you can always check out her personal website www.starlenestringer.com.

And,  you know, I just realized that she said she read some of her poems on-air and people called in, demanding copies.

Now, that's social networking.