Our topic this week is New Year's Resolutions. Do you make 'em? Do you break 'em? Do you think it's a waste of time?
Personally, I enjoy making resolutions. I look at them as goals, or aspirations, not necessarily like I'm a failure if I don't fulfill one. We each face enough pressure in our daily lives, why take on more that is self-imposed?
My goals for 2011:
1) Finish book two in my series, titled The Hunt. I've given myself a workable time frame and editing window as well. This one has the most pressure because I've already told people when the book is coming out. Wah-pesh! Time to get my ass in gear.
2) Start and finish book three for release 11-11-11 (I'm going with the whole 10-10-10 release from this year and hopefully building on it for 12-12-12, after that I'm kinda shit outta luck with numbers).
Okay those are the work goals - but what about personal resolutions? Strangely enough, they also tend to be work oriented—be more disciplined with writing, stop taking on so much, stop volunteering, stop trying to do it all.
I need to have a better balance in my life and so far it's been darn hard trying to figure it all out. For so long now I've been running at ninety, most months it's with a near empty tank, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping my health.
First and foremost, I need to get healthy. I've been sick for so many years now I've forgotten what it's like to have the strength to play a physical sport with my kids. My attempt at volleyball this past summer had me sitting out in under five minutes with an icepack on my wrist for the next two hours (and the swelling was so bad, Pete started to freak). I served the ball twice and it looked like I slammed myself in a car door or something. It didn't hurt much; I think it was just a weird reaction with all the meds I'm on. *shrugs* Who knows?
So how will I get healthy? I resolve to take all the damn antibiotics and supplements the doctors suggest, sit through hours of IV infusion treatments each week, rest, eat balanced meals, avoid alcohol as much as I can... which is pretty damn hard for me, I do like a drink with dinner.
I resolve to push my weak butt away from the computer. To stop using my lack of strength as an excuse to sit here for hours organizing, writing, blogging, emailing, updating—basically planning world domination—and to finally exercise.
Yes, I hate exercising. I hate feeling weak and it only emphasizes how much the various strains of bacteria in my body have debilitated me. I've dropped out of my yoga classes because I can't hold a pose. Hell, my damn arms and legs just give out and I hate being the center of attention with the worried glances and people asking about me.
Sure, have me tell a joke, relay a story, talk shop, and I have no problem with all eyes on me. Damn, I could talk to a wall and swear later the wall talked back. But to be physically weak? It's the hardest thing to endure when you feel strong inside.
I guess it's easy to pick a resolution when I really think on it. My number one New Year's resolution is to get healthy and stay healthy. I will not let the bacteria eating away inside me define who I am. I will rally, I will work at it, and I will become stronger.
I have to. I have many stories inside me just waiting to be told.
What is your number one resolution? And how hard are you willing to work to see it come true?