Monday, December 27, 2010

What is Number One on YOUR List?

Our topic this week is New Year's Resolutions. Do you make 'em? Do you break 'em? Do you think it's a waste of time?

Personally, I enjoy making resolutions. I look at them as goals, or aspirations, not necessarily like I'm a failure if I don't fulfill one. We each face enough pressure in our daily lives, why take on more that is self-imposed?

My goals for 2011:

1) Finish book two in my series, titled The Hunt. I've given myself a workable time frame and editing window as well. This one has the most pressure because I've already told people when the book is coming out. Wah-pesh! Time to get my ass in gear.

2) Start and finish book three for release 11-11-11 (I'm going with the whole 10-10-10 release from this year and hopefully building on it for 12-12-12, after that I'm kinda shit outta luck with numbers).

Okay those are the work goals - but what about personal resolutions? Strangely enough, they also tend to be work oriented—be more disciplined with writing, stop taking on so much, stop volunteering, stop trying to do it all.

I need to have a better balance in my life and so far it's been darn hard trying to figure it all out. For so long now I've been running at ninety, most months it's with a near empty tank, and I'm pretty sure it's not helping my health.

First and foremost, I need to get healthy. I've been sick for so many years now I've forgotten what it's like to have the strength to play a physical sport with my kids. My attempt at volleyball this past summer had me sitting out in under five minutes with an icepack on my wrist for the next two hours (and the swelling was so bad, Pete started to freak). I served the ball twice and it looked like I slammed myself in a car door or something. It didn't hurt much; I think it was just a weird reaction with all the meds I'm on. *shrugs* Who knows?

So how will I get healthy? I resolve to take all the damn antibiotics and supplements the doctors suggest, sit through hours of IV infusion treatments each week, rest, eat balanced meals, avoid alcohol as much as I can... which is pretty damn hard for me, I do like a drink with dinner.

I resolve to push my weak butt away from the computer. To stop using my lack of strength as an excuse to sit here for hours organizing, writing, blogging, emailing, updating—basically planning world domination—and to finally exercise.

Yes, I hate exercising. I hate feeling weak and it only emphasizes how much the various strains of bacteria in my body have debilitated me. I've dropped out of my yoga classes because I can't hold a pose. Hell, my damn arms and legs just give out and I hate being the center of attention with the worried glances and people asking about me.

Sure, have me tell a joke, relay a story, talk shop, and I have no problem with all eyes on me. Damn, I could talk to a wall and swear later the wall talked back. But to be physically weak? It's the hardest thing to endure when you feel strong inside.

I guess it's easy to pick a resolution when I really think on it. My number one New Year's resolution is to get healthy and stay healthy. I will not let the bacteria eating away inside me define who I am. I will rally, I will work at it, and I will become stronger.

I have to. I have many stories inside me just waiting to be told.

What is your number one resolution? And how hard are you willing to work to see it come true?


  1. Thanks for sharing, C.J. Was that the resolution for just you or many people? I really don't know how you have managed to do so much? You probably don't either!
    Good luck to you. I look forward to reading about you getting healthier.
    Since I'm not posting this week, I would really like to say that I plan to get into a little better shape, or get a little better at managing my time, etc.; however, if this last year is any indication, I will not be able to promise anything. With my day job taking 11 hours of my day, and subtracting another about 6.5 hours of sleep, that leaves very little time for everything else that I need to do. Therefore, for 2011, I simply endeavor to keep the machine going and see what I can make of this new second career...


  2. C.J, I admire those who make resolutions, because I don't. I feel like there are something to make to be broken. I know very negative, but I do have goals. To lose 30lbs, to get healthier, and to get published. We'll see which if any happen...

  3. Thanks for commenting, Jimmy and Lee. I appreciate it and love hearing from ANYONE. It gets lonely here at home with just the terminal to keep me company.

    Jimmy I had no idea you work such long hours each day - and survive on so little sleep! Trust me, I couldn't do the same.

    Lee - I like your goals. Now, what are you doing to make them happen? ;-) The first two are related and the last one is within your reach if you think outside the box. Never let the dinosaurs of publishing weigh you down.

  4. I know the feeling, C.J. For years, people have talked to me and would later swear that it was like talking to a brick wall.

    But, seriously, I'm glad you're going to concentrate on your health this year. It's bad when your two most persistent nemeses are Voit and Wilson.

    Take some time for yourself. That pace you describe sounds like me when I was in the Navy -- at age 22! And I know that you're at least 24. I ended up in the emergency room with ulcers and developed IBS that still affects me to this day (like you, I have to avoid alcohol and will be seen in clubs nursing the same Smirnoff Ice for three hours).

    So, let's just get you healthy and all and the rest will face into place.

    P.S.: You don't think all those book-signing and book speaking tours had anything to do with your condition, do you?

  5. My goal for 2011 - only one thing (and it's the only thing that didn't get accomplished out of my 15 goals for 2010 --- submit something.

    My personal resolutions? Stop talking and start listening.

  6. Thanks Greg and George!

    Greg - No, my condition has been ongoing for several years and I was lucky enough to be doing well on meds when leading the whirl-wind lifestyle of an author for all of two weeks ;-) Have you tried cutting out gluten? It cleared up all my digestive issues within three days, but the Lyme Disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and Bartonella Henselae(sp?) are still reeking havoc... damn tick borne diseases.

    George! Nobel goals indeed - but didn't you submit and get three novellas published this winter? That has to count for something! I like the personal one, something we could all do more of.

    BTW - you should come on EE to plug your new releases. You never did get a chance to finish that BDSM article. And it was very cool.

  7. I haven't cut out the gluten, but if I would just listen to the doctor and cut down on the caffeine and quit sneaking fried chicken into my meal plan (and take papaya enzymes), I would be much better.

    But, IBS doesn't go away. It is just controlled. In the overall scheme of things, compared to you or a family member's diabetes or a cousin's cocaine-induced heart failure, it's nothing.

    By the way, have you checked into natural cures or other procedures that don't require so much medicine? Different meds can counteract each other as a close relative of mine found out when his diabetes meds conflicted with his blood pressure meds.

  8. I'm actually on a combined program - traditional medicine and alternative therapies. One goes the science route with antibiotics and the other leans toward supplements and building your body back up to healthy.

    The end result is more pills, drops, liquids and powders than one person should ever have to consume. But, I"m willing to try it to get better.

    IBS can sometimes be the result of a long standing allergen aggravating the body. If you don't mind experimenting for a week, you might want to try the gluten free route.

    My IBS problems were tested for years with thoughts of Crohn's being the primary problem (my dad has it). Only after several procedures spread out over 18 months and then six months of allergy testing with patches, injections, pricks to the skin - you name it - did they opt for an elimination diet.

    We discovered gluten was the culprit on the third item tried. Apparently many many people are bothered by the protein and are unaware of it.

    Whether they call it an intolerance or Celiac's depends on the severity of the symptoms (assuming your blood work comes back negative for Celiac's, which mine did).

    Don't take "We don't know" for an answer. That is, as long as you have good health insurance, I'd still be sick as a dog if we didn't have good coverage. Pretty sad state of our nation's healthcare system. But I'll stop. No need to vent my opinion on that topic right now!

  9. May the force be with you, CJ. I can do nothing but admire your drive and determination to overcome your trials. May this next year bring you closer to your goals and further from your problems, more achievements and fewer setbacks! A very happy New Year to you. :)