Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Well, Here We Go Again

It seemed like it was just this time last year that we approached a new year. And, just like then, many of our new year’s resolutions have been unmet. So, with apologies to Monica, we dust ourselves off and try again.

In retrospect, though, I think it might be wiser to set some goals and do away with the word “resolutions" because it is a word that people happily use before New Year's Day and then despise for the next 364 days. "Goals" sounds much better and more appealing.

If I want better resolution, I’ll buy a flat screen HD TV.


(Think about it)

Right now, however, I will tell you some of the things I actually did get done that I set out to do for 2010:

1)      I got published, twice officially and thrice technically (my novella Crawl continued in serialization with Spectacular Speculations). Of course, the publications were the e-book anthologies Dark Tidings, Vol. I and Vol. II, but I’ll take what I can get.

2)     I did get acceptance for three of my short stories to be published, in three different genres no less. A science fiction tale will appear in the upcoming Far Space 2 anthology, while a horror tale and thriller will go into Rebel Tales. The publishers of Rebel Tales want me to give them a science fiction short, but I think I’m out of those at the moment.
3)     I got back into “extras” work in movies, after missing out to work at the Census. I was a senior detective on the pilot for “Detroit 1-8-7,” a deputy for “Franklin & Bash,” a pedestrian in Hall Pass and, best of all, got to see Jennifer Aniston in pasties from five feet away on Wanderlust.

And, now, I will show you what I’ve set forth for myself for 2011:

A)    To be physically published, not just in e-book form on Smashwords. After that deal with Mystic Moon Press fell through for Hunters, I’ve been fine-tuning that book, as well as Land of the Blind. Time to get off my ass and get them to where I can hold them in my hands (especially Hunters since I’m giving folks a free peek over at Free Fantastical Fiction)

B)    To find regular employment (no-brainer there)

C)    Be more sociable and not live vicariously through others. You’ll notice that I have no family info on my bio, not even two Pomeranians (sorry, but those evil MinPins are my brother’s)

D)   Get into more movies in meatier roles (still pissed I couldn’t do Fast & Furious Five; they wanted me to be one of the bad guys)

E)    Actually read the blogs of all my fellow writers and not skip over the ones written by people who think two initials substitute for first names

F)    Be even more sociable than before. So, goodbye money and hello Fannie’s Cabaret, LatinEuro, Cherry Blossoms, Plentyoffish.com, Zoosk and eHarmony

G)   Stop letting myself get so riled up by the comments on Yahoo! News. I’m pretty sure the next president will not unite the country because I do not want to be near any of these pinheaded, extremist, racist, one-dimensional, inbred, moronic pricks (pardon my English) and, finally, 

H)   Change the pictures in my profiles for Examiner.com, FaceBook, MySpace and Wicked Writers. For some reason, certain people think I look like I’m about to either kick someone’s ass or complete a contract hit.

Okay, folks. That’s a wrap for Gregory Marshall Smith in 2011. I want to thank everyone who put up with my stuff in 2010. I also want to thank the readers who saw fit to cut down on my page views so that C.J. could win the popularity battle (living near D.C. and being from N.J., she could use the good news).

Take care and I will “see” you, God willing and the river don’t rise, on January 11, 2011.


  1. You have missed your calling with writing humor! My God, I seriously laughed out loud when I read the two initials part for a first name.

    And popular? Please, I've never been popular my whole life. And I like my life just the way it is. People with strong opinions and a big mouths are not usually popular. They are tolerated, occasionally befriended, and great to have on your side in a fight.

    I'm incredibly proud of you and all you've accomplished this year, Greg. And taking the step with Hunters is huge. HUGE, I tell you.

    You will succeed, I know it. Unfortunately it never happens as fast as we'd like.

    Oh - and what's the dealio with F&F 5? Were you offered the part and had to turn it down?

  2. I agree with C.J.! Hilarious!
    Good luck to you, my friend, with all of those irons that you have in the fire. Remember: the part of Detective Jackson in the film adaptation of my novel is yours if you want it. He doesn't die until... *mouths the word: Crap!*
    Well, everybody dies, don't they?
    Happy New Year.
    P.S.: I agree with the need for a new photo, but was scared to death to mention it. I could always swear that you were looking straight through me!! I'm tired of my *finger quotes in the air* official author's picture, too. The one with the beard. I usually grow it for the holidays, but did not this year. I told my wife that it felt like I had been wearing it all year, thanks to that damn photo. ;)

  3. But the beard is so sex-say. ;-)

    And I know I'm one who has been bugging him about that pic for months. Hence the cool one on the side bar. I saw it on his FB page and put it in!

  4. It was a train scene that filmed in nearby Conyers, Georgia (you may remember Conyers as the place that double for Sparta, Mississippi in "The Heat of the Night" TV series).

    In the trailer, you'll see the members of the cast driving the cars off the train while it's moving. I would have been one of the bad guys trying to stop them, except I can't bring myself to get crushed by Vin Diesel, Tyrese Gibson or The Rock.

    Alas, I had to work that day and, at the time, regular employment was preferable to 2 minutes of screen time.

    And James, Detective Jackson's "crap" sounds like something I would say.

    Thanks for reading along. Oh and don't sell yourself short there, C.J. After reading VV and VV: The Hunt, I can see you do have some talent.

  5. Gregory - Awesome post and I too agree with C.J. on the humor bit. You should get yourself some Pomeranians, they make great feet warmers this time of year!

    To all my Wicked Writers - I'M BACK! *evil laugh*

  6. I always look forward to your posts. They make me laugh (and some days, that is a major accomplishment.)

    I think it's cool you do 'extra' movie stuff. I've thought about it when I lived in Detroit - but never did anything cuz I don't drive. However, I was able to see how the filmed some movies - and got to go to several on spot locations for the new Red Dawn movie (I loved the old movie.) It was really neat to see the streets of Rochester turned into a war zone.

    And you never know when something like that will come in handy for a story!

    As for the Pomeranians - forget them! Get yourself a couple of cats. Independent, self-supporting (if you have mice and roaches - if not they are easy to train to eat anything you do) and you can leave them alone for days as long as there is a litter box, water and food. I believe every writer should have one.

  7. Oh - PS - being sociable is sooo overrated. Money can't break your heart or try to stalk you...

    Just sayin.... (*grin)

  8. Thanks, George, but I've always been a dog person. I haven't been able to walk cats, toss frisbees to them or watch them romp in the snow. Plus, they don't have unique dance when they're hungry.

    And J.D., welcome back. It was lonely with only one "initials" person in the pack.

  9. My son was hired once to hold Martha Stewart's water glass. He got paid more than the bit actor who was doing the part opposite her.

    I am a 6 degrees sort of person, Gregory. You putting it out there makes it more likely to happen. Depending on where you live, it can be less.

    I agree with what's been said by others in our talented team: being sociable is overrated. But bad behavior is just that - don't be so independent you lose your humanity, and somehow I know you won't. Being respectful is always in style. But that doesn't mean being quiet or keeping your mouth shut.

    I have this little saying taped to the top of my computer screen: The villain is the hero of his own journey. That helps me when I'm dealing with difficult people.

    Giving you a double yes on the picture idea.

    Employment is also overrated. Create your perfect job.

    Okay, okay, I read The Secret too, and I live in hippy dippy California. And I have a Moonbeam for a governor. Stuck in a time warp without the drugs, but a love child at heart.

    Happy New Year my friend. And may the force be with you.

  10. Apparently, you are not getting the right kind of cats! Seriously! Some of those cats on You Tube are really surprising!

    On a personal note, my rescue kitten I found during Labor Day is either a human/dog mutation or an alien from outer space. She is soooo not a cat.

    But, I bow to your dog-loving preferences. (*grin)

  11. Jennifer Aniston...!! Some achievement for 2010. I hope this next year brings you more Jennifer Aniston moments and a huge chunk off that immpresive list, Greg. I shall await next year's summary with great anticipation! :)