Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Heeby-Jeebies

I have to be frankly honest with this post here and say I don’t like, read, or watch, anything horror. Never have. On the rare occasion I have been coerced into watching one horror movie or another and they still haunt me to this day. (Hellraiser 7 and Pet Cemetery being two examples of horror I was forced to watch.)

 This might sound funny to those who know most of my t-shirts have skulls on them and that my car accessories also have skulls. I also have an obsession with the dark side of things, barbed wire, knives, and guns.

 Now, I love villains that make my skin crawl and make me double check to lock my doors at night. The ones that are REAL. Like JD said yesterday, the real horrors for me are the real-life murderers, rapists, etc out there.

 Why do I love these types of villains that do such horrible things? Well, frankly because it’s real-real. (Oh yea, I said it.) I’m a big fan of mysteries and crime dramas because of this.

 Let me put it to you this way. I’ve never seen the Green Mile in its entirety. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I happened to just catch the scene where the man is being electrocuted and they did not wet the sponge. I freaked out!! I’m talking full hyperventilation. This scared me more than Pet Cemetery did (and I didn’t sleep for two weeks after seeing that one). Why? Again, the realism. The fact that is was more likely to happen in real life.

 “But wait Anastasia, are you saying you don’t believe in ghosts and paranormal scary things?”

 No. I do believe in ghosts and demons and other paranormal scary things. And I love a good ghost story every now and then. However, there is a line I prefer not to cross. The problem is that I normally don’t realize I crossed my comfort zone until it’s too late. Take Hellraiser 7 for example. I was told by my friend that it was a great thriller with lots of twists and turns. Evil demons, etc. I thought great! Oh boy was I wrong. I still have terrible nightmares from that movie.

After that, I just swore off horror all together. That way, I don’t ever have a moment where it’s too late.

 On the flip side, I have seen some ‘scary’ movies that made me wish I never paid to watch them. Like House of Wax for example. The only good part of that entire movie was when Britney Spears died. I was more grossed out than scared. Another cheesy ‘scary’ movie was Jeepers Creepers. *rolls eyes* Totally lame movie I think. It didn’t even scare me! I mean, isn’t that the point of horror/scary – to scare people?

So I’m a quandary I guess. I don’t like horror that doesn’t scare me (waste of time to watch it) and I don’t like horror that does either! It’s just the point that there is a level of “scared-ness” I don’t like to go to. Make me gasp and cringe a little, sure. Make me go into hysterics and want to pee my pants? No thanks.

 To actually mention the real topic of this week, I don't have a favorite scary creature. I mean, E.T. scared the pants of me as a kid but now I absolutely love that movie. Roger Rabbit traumatized me as a kid but now I find that movie hilarious! But they aren't scary anymore, so they can't really be my favorites. I guess I have to go with JD's point and say the more realistic the scary creature is, the more I'm apt to like it - just for realisms sake.


  1. Hey Ana --

    To show my ignorance - what happens when they don't wet a sponge? (I hardly ever watch true crime stories and I am not a fan of the (*GASP!) CSI stuff....

    And by reading your post, I see I'm poorly educated in the finer things -- they remade House of Wax? (It seems a bit sacrilege. Vincent Price is rolling over in his grave...)

    Ahhh - The Hellraiser series (OMG! #7?!?!? where have I been?) and Pet Semetary. With the latter, I remember watching my pets out of the corner of my eye for months...

    Hellraiser creeped me out. The one with the 'jaws' did it. I remember sitting my 8 year old son down and watching it with him (or rather the both of us looking thru bars of fingers when we weren't holding each other.) I kept repeating lout loud, over and over to him (and me) "This isn't real. It's fake. Good make up job. Nice Acting. Hollywood does an amazing job..." (well, for the early 90's anyway)

    Needless to say, I was a young parent, and looking back, I would have NEVER exposed my son to such violence to such a tender age. My son agrees, however, for totally different reasons. Now 27, he laments, "You ruined it for me! All those years of watching horror flicks and all I hear in my brain is 'It's not real. It's fake. Good make up job...' My teenage rights were violated!" (sometimes the boy is a bigger drama queen than I can ever aspire to!)

    Thank you, but no. I think I'd rather be scared by my imagination than something someone did in real life... I don't know if I could handle the 'real' horrorish-stuff out there in the world.

  2. You know, Ana, it can be very interesting what frightens us. I think you would agree, listing E.T. and Who Framed Roger Rabbitt as a couple of films that got to you in your youth. I recall scaring my oldest child with something that should have been far from frightening. For those of you who remember the great television show, M*A*S*H, you may recall the episode where there is a thief in the camp and Colonel Blake gets himself in all sorts of trouble futily attempting to locate the stolen property. At one point he ends up in the shower, has Corporal O'Reilly remove the shower head, practically sticks his eye in the pipe and as you can well imagine ends up all wet. Next, he ends up in "The Swamp" where the main characters reside, and begins to search the stove in there. He asks the doctors what is inside the long pipe that goes from the stove to the top of the tent and out.
    "McIntyre?" he asks. "What's in here?"
    "Soot, Sir," Trapper John replies.
    "Soot?" Blake repeats. "I'll be the judge of that."
    Blake takes the pipe and shakes it, causing every bit of soot to cover his head. At this, both Trapper John and Hawkeye Pierce begin one of the most famous laughter scenes in all of television. It is perhaps my favorite episode and I hope I got the details correct. I showed this to my then young son, hoping that he would crack up hysterically. Instead, he took one look at the actor's soot-covered head, eyes blinking the soot away, and ran down the hall crying.
    What? My son is 16 now and has his driver's license. He loves the show now, too, but was scared of it for a while there... Who knew?
    Thanks for sharing.