Ebooks..., The Musical

E-books…, The Musical.

(with apologies to Gene Roddenberry, Don McLean, David Lee Roth, The Beatles, R.E.M., and Elvis Costello)

“…E-books. The final publishing frontier. These are my thoughts of the dying throws of print books. In five years, the E-book’s mission will be closer to completion. To save trees and land refuge from toxic inks and chemicals. To encourage local print book recycling. To boldly go forth, replacing as many paperbacks and hard covers in family homes across this world as possible…”

Yes. It’s kinda melodramatic for a beginning. But it hooked your attention, didn’t it?

Seriously though, there should be no doubt in your mind. I freakin’ love and embrace the whole wondrous world of e-books, e-publishers, e-readers and e-prices.

Maybe it’s the Star Trek geek in me. After all, anyone who grew up idolizing the crew of the Starship Enterprise knew without a doubt print books would be replaced by a computer-like hand held device. Look at the stats today – since the late 60’s television show, many of today’s computerized medical gadgets and other devices give their homage to the great vision Star Trek created within a generation of self-proclaimed geeks.

But, I digress. And I know you are all aquiver with anticipation over the E-book musical.

Yet, before I break into song, I need to say: E-books are a reality. They are here to stay. They are so convenient – I have over 3,000 e-books in my library right now, and can store 350 on my e-reader device. And who says you can’t cuddle with them? I do, in a fuzzy blanket with hot cocoa next to me. I even take them in the bath tub, to the beach, standing in line in the grocery story, sitting on the toilet – you name it, my e-reader has been there, and cuddled with.

As for smelling? Ummm, some of us are allergic to the dust and musty smell that comes from older tomes. If I really want my e-readers to smell, I won’t wash my hands after handling garlic. Oh, joy!

In five years, where do I see e-books? Growing stronger, increasing in numbers and on the virtual horizon, in an amazing explosion of unique, spirited reads, bringing back the joy of the reading experience and breathing a fresh breath of life into the bland, cookie cutter voice of the current New York old school published books.

This generation will never give up their paper books entirely. But, a future generation probably won't care.

And now, my musical tribute to e-books and the bright future they bring:

(To the tune of American Pie by Don McLean)

…So goodbye to paper and hard cover prints,
E-books have arrived, they’re alive, time to split.
Them old pub houses are crying in their fancy beers,
Sayin’ “The coming of the future is here; book publishing is changing, we fear…”

(To the tune of California Girls by David Lee Roth)

“…Well, the mystery books are cool – I’m into the crimes they solve.
And historical tales with their ‘action’ facts – make me feel like I’m involved.
The urban fantasy novel – with that ‘paranormal’ bite.
And the romance story with such sensual scenes – keeps me cozy and warm at night.
(I dig them reads!)
I wish they all could be awesome E-books for me! I wish they all could be uber E-books for me….”

(To the tune of Paperback Writer by the Beatles)

“…Dear E-pub owner will you read my work?
It took me months to type will you take a look?
It’s based on my life of fantasy and need,
I’m wild and free cuz’ I was born to be
An E-book author…, E-book author!”

(To the tune of ‘It’s The End of the World As We Know It” by R.E.M)

“…It’s the end of the pub world as we know it, and I feel fine….”

(To the tune of “Give Peace a Chance” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono)

“…all I am saying, give E-books a chance…”

So, do you have a song you would like to tribute to “E-book – the Musical?” I tell ya, if I can’t take the writing world by storm, I’m heading to Broadway for a musical. Either way, New York City will never be the same again!